To preface this post it is necessary that I explain some things in the event that I have any readers that are not LDS (I don't think that I do, but I don't want anyone to be out of the loop, just in case). Those of the LDS faith believe that God the Father is literally the father of our spirits. Before we came to earth we were loved by and lived with Him and our Heavenly Mother and were taught everything that they could teach us. We were sent here to earth (to a father and mother!), to continue learning and progressing, particularly things that cannot be learned without a body. For more information regarding this particular facet of LDS doctrine, click here.
Okay, so something came up as I attended relief society yesterday. What it was in particular is not completely relevant, but it has come up multiple times somewhat recently, and up until yesterday it has caused me to have a mini pity party - again, regarding what specifically is not really relevant. I would end up stewing about it for the rest of the day, and after a good night's sleep it would basically be over for the time being. It's not really in my nature to be down for very long.
What I realized yesterday was that I had never talked to Heavenly Father about it in prayer. A poke of inspiration was sent to me yesterday when I realized that I have been "putting on a brave face" for Heavenly Father in my prayers. I have been praying for everyone but me. Now, don't go thinking I'm so terribly compassionate that I never think of myself because it's not true. I just haven't been talking to Heavenly Father about me. Oh, I pray for help being patient with my children, but that's only partly for me. It's mostly for them; I don't want to damage them and break their spirits. But I haven't been praying for help with my personal struggles. And yesterday it occurred to me how completely absurd it was to basically go to Heavenly Father in prayer and essentially say, "Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about me. But could you please bless so and so, 'cause I'm good."
I have to chuckle about it a little today because it's just so completely absurd. I believe so strongly that Heavenly Father cares about me, individually and is so invested in my personal happiness; it has, in fact been clearly manifested to me multiple times in my life that He cares and is truly interested in my success that I can even declare that I know that He is anxious to help me, even eager. And yet, here I have been lately just not asking for help, and at the same time wondering why I don't feel very close to Him when I pray and why I haven't been getting any help. Well, now I know. And I wanted to share it with you on the off-chance that it could be helpful. Some personal revelation is so sacred that it's not meant to be shared with people in general, but this is not one of those instances and so I felt that I should share it.
So, take the time to really talk to your Heavenly Father in prayer. Today. He's listening, and He cares. Happy Monday!