Light bulb moment

To preface this post it is necessary that I explain some things in the event that I have any readers that are not LDS (I don't think that I do, but I don't want anyone to be out of the loop, just in case). Those of the LDS faith believe that God the Father is literally the father of our spirits. Before we came to earth we were loved by and lived with Him and our Heavenly Mother and were taught everything that they could teach us. We were sent here to earth (to a father and mother!), to continue learning and progressing, particularly things that cannot be learned without a body. For more information regarding this particular facet of LDS doctrine, click here.

Okay, so something came up as I attended relief society yesterday. What it was in particular is not completely relevant, but it has come up multiple times somewhat recently, and up until yesterday it has caused me to have a mini pity party - again, regarding what specifically is not really relevant. I would end up stewing about it for the rest of the day, and after a good night's sleep it would basically be over for the time being. It's not really in my nature to be down for very long.
What I realized yesterday was that I had never talked to Heavenly Father about it in prayer. A poke of inspiration was sent to me yesterday when I realized that I have been "putting on a brave face" for Heavenly Father in my prayers. I have been praying for everyone but me. Now, don't go thinking I'm so terribly compassionate that I never think of myself because it's not true. I just haven't been talking to Heavenly Father about me. Oh, I pray for help being patient with my children, but that's only partly for me. It's mostly for them; I don't want to damage them and break their spirits. But I haven't been praying for help with my personal struggles. And yesterday it occurred to me how completely absurd it was to basically go to Heavenly Father in prayer and essentially say, "Oh, I'm fine, don't worry about me. But could you please bless so and so, 'cause I'm good."
I have to chuckle about it a little today because it's just so completely absurd. I believe so strongly that Heavenly Father cares about me, individually and is so invested in my personal happiness; it has, in fact been clearly manifested to me multiple times in my life that He cares and is truly interested in my success that I can even declare that I know that He is anxious to help me, even eager. And yet, here I have been lately just not asking for help, and at the same time wondering why I don't feel very close to Him when I pray and why I haven't been getting any help. Well, now I know. And I wanted to share it with you on the off-chance that it could be helpful. Some personal revelation is so sacred that it's not meant to be shared with people in general, but this is not one of those instances and so I felt that I should share it.
So, take the time to really talk to your Heavenly Father in prayer. Today. He's listening, and He cares. Happy Monday!

Challenge

So, you're likely familiar with those announcements on public television: "Funding for the following program was provided to you in part by . . ."

Followed by some other sponsors, and then,

Well, once upon a time I had a light bulb moment regarding some of the most fundamental teachings of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and it came to me in a similar format as these announcements. So something like this:

Salvation is made possible by:
The creation of man by Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ
The transgression of Adam and Eve
The atoning sacrifice of Jesus Christ
&
By obedience to the laws and ordinances of the gospel of Jesus Christ by God's children like you.

So, who wants to take on the challenge of finding images and adding these words and putting them all into one image that can be easily pinned/printed/displayed? I don't have super mad skills with that kind of thing, but I think it'd be cool. Maybe I'll make it a contest, choose my favorite, share it and give out some kind of prize. Who's in?

The obligatory Easter post :)

In their Easter duds.

Super cheese!

Enoch would not cooperate for the picture taking. Not even once. He was ready for a nap. :)

The Big 3-0

For David's birthday, since it was kind of a big one I wanted to do something special. But throwing a big party wasn't an option for several reasons, the least of which wasn't that I felt pretty sure that David wouldn't appreciate being put in the spotlight. So when I saw this idea on one of the blogs I follow I knew it was an idea I wanted to use for my love. I sent off 30+ balloons to high school friends & coaches, former missionary companions, family, and current friends for them to write a message to David on along with a postage-paid envelope to mail back to me. It was funny when I pulled out my collected envelopes and started blowing up balloons. David knew I had a surprise planned, so after I'd blown up a few and he saw that they weren't just plain balloons he said, "So, what you have thirty of those?" I answered in the affirmative (basically, I didn't actually get 30 back, but close enough) and he was like, "Really?" He's not at all a demonstrative person so I wasn't expecting a huge reaction, but I could tell he was pleased with all of the great messages he got. Good enough for me! We actually weren't at home on his birthday since it was Spring break, but we were at his parents' home. If you think this sounds like an idea you'd like to use sometime, I'll share some tips with you later in the post. But check out the pics!

The kids sure thought all of the balloons were fun!

David transferring all of the messages to paper. :)

 

Balloons all gather together - you can partially see David underneath.

There's the old man! ;)

Me and my love.

Probably should have cropped this one, but here's all of us on the great day.

Make a wish!

I also took him out on a little picnic on his birthday, just the two of us. It wasn't fantastic weather for that kind of an outing, but not bad - and certainly better than it would have been any later in the afternoon (it rained). At least we got some alone time. :)
Okay, so some tips with the balloons:

• Strongly encourage your participants to use metallic sharpies, or to do something to make sure that the balloon is really dry before they deflate it. Some of the messages were really hard to read because the ink smeared, but only one of the them was almost completely illegible.
• If you have little people, it may be less frustrating if the balloons are inflated for reading when they're busy doing something else. :) David was irritated more than once because he was trying to transfer the messages all onto one paper, and the kids kept messing around with his pile that hadn't been transferred yet. hahaha
• I started out trying to use an air pump to blow up the balloons, but my hot air was much faster . . . so I had to inflate all these balloons with my mouth when all of these other friends had previously. Which I didn't love. Don't know quite what could have been done about that except for give yourself more time than I did to get balloons inflated with a pump. Or have more than one pump going. I did see a pump available specifically for balloons at Walmart, and I laughed b/c I figured a bike pump would be just as good. But in retrospect, I kind of wish I'd purchased it. :)

Update: In the comments my sister suggested that you could write the message on paper, and then put it in the balloon. So, that's one idea to address the smearing issue. :)

Someone Turned Thirty . . .

My first memory of David was actually just 'hearing' about him. Around the time that I announced to people at school that I would be moving across town I was exchanging notes with a mutual friend. I hadn't yet met Dave, and somehow my friend knew the ward boundaries even across town. When he learned my new location he wrote in a note, "You'll be in Big Dave's ward." My thought was, "Who is 'Big Dave'?" Neither Dave nor I recall the first time we spoke, but I do remember the day that I put a face with the name. Our first Sunday in our new ward, the Sunday school teacher introduced everyone in the class to me. After he introduced David Allred I thought, "So that's 'Big Dave'. He's not very big." :)
During our senior year, I got rides with David a lot to school, partly to make sure that I could be on time to ballroom (he's very punctual). One day that I'd gotten a ride with him I had some errand that needed doing and somewhat urgently apparently because I asked him to drive me there during the lunch hour. We had AP English together after lunch and we arrived a little late. We walked into the classroom separately and tried to  stagger it slightly to try to avoid teasing, but it didn't work. Boy, we got a lot of ribbing from our class mates. That was the first time that our teacher ever got a hint that we might be more than friends.
After his mission, and after our first post-mission date someone that came through my checkout line (I was working at a grocery store at the time) invited me to go swing dancing that evening. I didn't really know him, but he was a friend of a friend from work and so I said yes. I was a little nervous since I couldn't even recall the guys' name, but not nearly as nervous as my mom was. She was so upset with me for accepting a date with a guy that I didn't even know! While she was still at the store David came in and I invited him to come with me, as a safety measure and because I just wanted him with me. Mom was so relieved. I was driving somehow - the guy (Travis) met me at the store, and then I picked up David who wasn't too thrilled to go (since he really doesn't love dancing) but was going to keep me safe. David was in the backseat by himself and Travis held up the conversation single-handedly, talking about himself and horses. *eye roll* We ended up meeting a group of people at the dance that Travis had planned on meeting up with, which meant that he definitely had a ride back home. I danced with him once (he was awful), and then David and I got out of there. We went to Wendy's for fries and frosties. So, it all worked out!
David got me out of more than one scrape while we were single, and keeps me sane now. I always knew I could count on him for anything - even after I'd broken up with him (I did try not to take advantage of him since I knew that I'd broken his heart, though)! He's always been a gentleman - completely respectful of me as a woman and as a person. He's a really smart and steady man, but he's never made me feel inferior. In fact, he's made me feel like I am capable of doing anything. I am profoundly grateful to have him in my life, and to have had him in my life for so long. I've known him for more than half of his life! He's just my favorite person ever. The end. :)

One long, exploratory post

Bet that title drew you in. :)

I'm having an identity crisis.

Okay, I'm not really. Not on a deep level. Allow me to explain. I am a confusing blend of "hippy", technology lover, "people person", and lover-of-solitude. So many contradictory elements of my personality. I realize that everyone has this to one extent or another (right? It's not just me?), but at times it leaves me really confused.

In high school and college (pre-marriage) I would have described myself as an extrovert without any hesitation, bubbly-ness and perpetual cheerfulness included. I loved being around people, going out and having fun (for me, that usually involves dancing and/or food), bright colors. My mom tells me that as a child I was very friendly, and liked to include everyone/make everyone feel welcome. I also remember enjoying playing/imagining by myself just as much as playing with other kids. There was a period of my young life when I considered myself shy, but in retrospect I think I really was just self-conscious. At some point I made the decision to just be friendly to everyone and do my very best to love every single person I met. This decision was influenced by people that I admired and that I wanted to emulate. So I became a full-out extrovert.

In college, I added the element of being somewhat hippy-ish (and I mean that in the best sense). I was (well, am) a modern dancer, and I became very connected to and trusting of my body. This easily explains my complete lack of desire to have epidurals for childbirth, as epidurals can interfere with the natural process. Anyway, having never struggled with eating disorders of any kind I had no problem believing that I could trust my body to know what was good for it, and if my body as God's creation was trustworthy, then so was the earth. The closer to all-natural my food and all other things that get into and interact with my body, the better. This belief began in college, but I haven't really explored all possible applications of that until the last couple of years. In a perfect world, I'd be raising my own meat ('cause I'll be darned if I ever give up hamburgers to become a vegetarian or anything like one - no offense, I just really love burgers), and growing my own fruits and vegetables. Or buying those foods from sources that I know to be high quality, meaning minimal interference from man with hormones and chemicals. Surprised?

Well, here's another contrast. I am a firm believer in vaccinations (technology). With full respect to other people and their views, I personally feel like not having myself or my children vaccinated would be irresponsible. We are not far removed from the generations where children died (often) from things like whooping cough, measles, mumps, and all other kinds of illnesses that for us here in the United States are almost non-existent. My grandma had two little sisters die of whooping cough (she shared a bedroom with them, and they were her only sisters). I absolutely feel like vaccinations were inspired by the Lord. Also, unrelated to vaccinations but relevant to technology, I love digital files. The less paper in my life, the better! That also kind of fits into my hippy-ish ideas - less paper usage saves more trees, right? Although, I also believe that the earth and everything on it is for our use and benefit to be used with prudence and thanksgiving.

So, my extroverted-with-hippy-tendencies self got married. To an introvert getting his degree in biology (science = anti-hippy). And he is a fabulous man. I love and respect him so much. His personality has tempered and altered mine. Pretty sure he hasn't changed a whole lot - which, to be clear I had no hopes or expectations for him to do so. This post is about me, not him. I married him because there were many things that I admired about him, things that I wanted to become. He basically believes that he can do whatever he wants to. Oh, he has strengths and weaknesses just like everyone else, therefore things that he's more suited to than others. But he knows, and seemingly has always known exactly what those things are; so within that scope of strengths there are a variety of things he could be good at, and he knows he would. He chooses to do things that he really likes and really has an aptitude for, and doesn't really pursue those things at which he wouldn't naturally excel. Basically, he's not banging his head against the wall trying to be anything other than what he is. Now does that seem like an obvious approach to life, or what?

Forgive me for going on so much, I swear I have a point. I am less of an extrovert. I'm a lot more subdued around people than I once was, and I do a lot more thinking before I speak than I once did. I think that some people previously found my extreme extrovert personality somewhat irritating, and thinking before you speak never hurt anybody. However, having my personality tempered and becoming in some ways like my husband leaves me struggling to clearly identify myself as an individual. Which is good in some ways, and not in others. It's great that he and I can achieve that kind of unity, but (now, don't laugh) it leaves me in kind of a quandary in terms of fashion. hahaha I've probably lost you now. I can just see any one of you saying, "Rachael, how on earth did we get from an identity crisis to fashion?" Just stay with me.

My husband dresses in dark colors, and very conservatively. Pre-marriage I had every color of the rainbow in my closet in the brightest hues. Now I have an assortment of bright and mostly dark colors, much of which are not things I love very much. My dancer self wants to express and express accurately who I am. I am fully invested in being a stay-at-home mom, so expression through movement is not a high priority right now. I'd like to have a clearly defined sense of style - in my home, and on my person. But it's hard to make it clear when there's so much contradiction/confusion. I have one thing nailed - I have a signature fragrance. My younger sister introduced me to that idea, and I found mine with no problem (bath & body works Japanese cherry blossom, btw). I no longer buy any other lotion that is not my signature scent. My signature color probably is yellow (because it's obsessively my favorite), but you wouldn't know by looking at my closet. And it feels wrong, you know? Am I just crazy?

Anyway, the real point in this long-winded post is to tell my lady friends primarily about something I came across a couple of days ago that I find absolutely fascinating and I think will help me define my personal style at least for dressing. I'm thinking the principles will apply to my home, too. Check out the website dressingyourtruth.com if you are interested in the idea of having your personal style be perfectly congruent with your personality, rather than strictly following trends. If you are, but want to be at whatever you think your ideal weight is first, don't wait until then. Or if you think that because you're a stay-at-home mom, and therefore you hardly ever 'dress up' anyway so this is useless for you right now, you may be wrong. It addresses no-fuss mom clothes and exercise clothes, too so it's not impractical for those of us that mostly stay home! And, hopefully you don't feel like this is a shallow endeavor. Our bodies are temples, and how we dress them matters. I think it matters not only in terms of modesty, but in terms of honoring and celebrating everything that we are as individuals. There's a free course available, and there's also a course that's more in-depth but isn't free. Start with the free one, of course. That may very well be enough for you if you know yourself well enough. I'm having an identity crisis and am trying to sort it all out, so I may be going with the in-depth course. :)

If you read this entire thing, you must really be my friend. And I love you for that.

Note: I just want to emphasize that if you found yourself offended by any opinions that I stated, you shouldn't have been. Here's why: no matter what I feel about things I completely respect the opinions of others and I absolutely do not make it my business to judge you for yours. Agency rocks. And you're awesome.

Parental Ponderings

 

Once upon a time, there was a young girl. She was a brand new kindergartner, and just getting the hang of public school. She rode the bus to and from her elementary. The usual driver was a nice man named Tom. One day Tom had another driver there in his place, named Mary. The young girl innocently put her foot out in the aisle, and was instantly reprimanded loudly and roughly by the substitute driver. Stunned and embarrassed she shrank to the corner of her seat while hot tears splashed down her cheeks.
A few years later, Tom retired and Mary became the new permanent driver of that bus route. The little girl rode the bus with her older sister and a couple of neighbor friends. None of them were pleased with the new bus arrangements. Mary had earned the reputation of being strict and mean, and the little girl's older sister remembered the incident when Mary had made her little sister cry. It didn't take too long before these children became fed up with the anger issues and unreasonableness of their driver.
They began to break her rules on purpose, just to aggravate her. Eventually the girls pushed Mary too far and earned the issue of pink slips, which were disciplinary warnings. When issued multiple times it would have lost the girls their right to ride the bus. They were not ashamed - in fact, when issued the slips they waved them triumphantly to the other riders on the bus and there may or may not have been cheering.
After the bus departed they met their mother and showed her their slips. There are mothers these days who would have backed up their children and sought to have the driver reprimanded for her overly strict rules and angry yelling at the children. Not this mother. This mother did not seek to rescue her daughters - she sought to teach them.
Acknowledging their partially justified feelings toward the bus driver, she pointed out to her daughters just how frustrating it must be for the driver to be unable to keep control of the children on the bus. She also pointed out that she must be unhappy to treat children with so much harshness. Their mother wisely suggested that they take another approach with Mary. She asked them to try an experiment: they were to greet Mary kindly when they were picked up in the morning, and thank her for the ride when they were dropped off in the afternoon. They loved and trusted their mother, and committed to try it.
Mary certainly must have been suspicious of their motives when the new behavior began, but over time the experiment had the desired effects. Mary became kinder, and the bus rides became more pleasant for all. It could be said that she had been killed with kindness.
You may have already guessed that I was the little girl in this story. My memory is poor, so it may not be completely accurate but this is how it stands in my memory; my sister April would need to verify some of the details. The advice my mom gave us, and the way it played out is accurate, though. I was reflecting on it this morning. How wise it was of my mom to give us tools to address the situation ourselves, rather than seeking to protect us from unfair treatment! The fact is, mothers cannot and will not always be their to protect their children, so the best thing mothers can do is give their children skills to solve their own problems - and the younger, the better. I imagine both my sister and I have been able to adapt the principles from this situation to diffuse tension and create peace in later conflicts. I hope we can all be wise enough to teach our children to deal with conflict well, as my mom did, rather than cripple them by shielding them from it.