05 February 2014

What? I have a blog?

Okay, so it hasn't been that long since I posted, but for someone who was dreaming of being a Mormon blogger with regular postings it kinda has. I'm just going to share some candid thoughts about that.
  • Remember that goal I made to spend less time on the computer? Well, I've been mostly sticking to it. Partly why I haven't been posting.
  • New year meant I was itching to try some new things. Informal resolutions if you will. I have a new cleaning schedule I've been trying out, and I decided I wanted to learn to play the guitar. Also, I've wanted to do more reading of books. Less computer time means more time for other stuff that's more worthwhile to me.
  • I have three kids. Two of them are in school, so a lot of my day isn't that hectic. But between reasons one and two, my day gets filled with other worthwhile things. And after things one and two get home from school, my day is shot. SO much to do after they get home.
What I'm saying is, I'm thinking that this is probably not the season to pursue my desire to be a Mormon blogger. Still, I will try to post more often. But there will not be much regularity, and definitely no schedule.

Also, I haven't felt like saying much. Recently I've been getting bogged down with discouragement. Brief periods of borderline bitterness really. Which is ridiculous because I know the Lord has a plan for me, and there are other people with much (SO much) harder lives than mine. But sometimes I see new babies and think about how I would have a very young baby right now if I hadn't miscarried. It would probably hurt less, maybe even not at all if I were pregnant again right now, but I'm not. And then I think how wrong it is that my father-in-law won't be here for the upcoming baptism and confirmation of my oldest child. I miss having him around. Things are just off, you know? Not at all according to my plan. But as I said, it could definitely be worse. And previously in my life when things didn't go according to my plan, the Lord's plan unfolded so beautifully and was so much better than mine. I guess that means I can possibly expect some awesomeness to go on in my future. Here's hoping. :)

5 comments:

  1. Don't feel bad - this is your little space, and life is more important than a blog. Plus, you want your space to be a fun and creative outlet, not something you feel is a chore. Sometimes I take breaks from blogging (I basically took a 2-month break during the holidays) just because you need to sometimes. I'm so sorry for your loss. <3

    ~Kelly
    www.leafynotbeefy.com

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  2. Hugs, friend! Life is beautiful but yes it is hard sometimes too. Times and seasons, an important lesson to learn! Glad I'm not in charge of the universe OR my plans for my life because I'm just not sure I wouldn't screw it up. :) Funny though, I'm sort of the opposite...when things are GOOD I think "this can't be real, something bad's around the corner" and just wait for the other shoe to drop (and it usually does:). Your way of thinking sounds better.

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  3. Love your goals! Sorry you're feelin' a bit down. My heart goes out to you as you yearn to have family members around who aren't. Love this line "when things didn't go according to my plan, the Lord's plan unfolded so beautifully and was so much better than mine." A double amen to that and to your faith. Lots of love.

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  4. I wish I was there. We could hang out.

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  5. I have similar baby thoughts sometimes, "what would my life be like if..." So I guess we just keep holding to hope, "which...maketh an anchor to the souls of men." I like your blog, no matter how much or little you post. :)

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